Overcoming Adversity

The world has been overflowing with grief in the past few weeks. It’s made me stop and think about my part in all of this. I don’t live near any of the recent disasters, either inside or outside of the United States, but still my heart weeps right along with these people. I’m so far away and I have no idea what I could possibly do to help ease their tremendous suffering. I’m just one person, one person who can not transport herself there to wipe a tear or help with the physical labor or relief efforts. I went looking for answers in the one place I trust the most: my faith and my religion.

Though it still doesn’t feel like enough— I doubt anything any of us could do, would ever be enough. Still, I did find a few things. I found the following articles most helpful.

“The Latter-day Saint Humanitarian Center,” Ensign, Mar 2001, 60.

Neil K. Newell, “‘Anxious to Bless the Whole Human Race’,” Ensign, Apr 1999, 24–31.

Neil K. Newell and Lloyd D. Newell, “The Power of Compassion,” Ensign, Dec 2002, 21.

For me, I think the most important things I can do are: never lose my empathy, pray and prepare.

As bad as things may get, I should never find myself shrugging off the latest news of a hurting world. Yes, it’s discouraging and depressing so I don’t read or listen to very much, but I try to watch the main headlines so I can be aware of my fellowman. I hope there never comes a day when I’ve seen so much grief that I forget to notice that these are real people with real suffering. I hope I never get to a point where I can shrug it all off because it doesn’t directly effect me.

No matter what is happening, the best place I can turn to be of help is to my faith. Just as I turned to it for answers about how to help, if I keep turning to it the paths I can best follow with be shown to me. If nothing else I can exercise my faith in the atonement on other people’s behalf, pleading for its effects to reach a place where it can plant the seeds of peace in their wounded hearts. I pray for those that suffer and those left behind that the despair will not become more than they can bear.

I pray for those who are able to help from a closer proximity that they might be sped on their way and find those in most need. I pray that they will be safe as they move forward to help. I pray that the supplies they bare will be sustained in the manner of the loaves and fishes. I pray that their strength will endure beyond their normal capabilities. I try to send a portion of myself in support and offer a plea for the best gift of all, the Savior’s help. He is there. We have to know that. In the midst of all this, He has not abandoned us, or them, and left us to ourselves. He continues to do all He can, though some may say He’s not there at all, to comfort and guide and record the pain and suffering around Him. He pays the price for all of that. He cries with us. He places His yoke firmly around those who work and bare these tremendous trials. He carries them home when their lives can not be spared. I add my faith to His efforts and know that He can do more than any man or organization if they were left to themselves.

Lastly, I try to prepare: both in my own family and for organizations I believe in who reach out in these times of need. I remember the Lord’s counsel to put away stores for future need: food, money and anything else that might be needed to sustain the life of my family. I try to remember that I’m storing not only for my own needs but to be able to reach out to another’s needs. When I’m storing appropriately, there is always an extra dish in the freezer or an extra $5 for the relief funds. When I’m not, I feel the weight of what might have been if I had been ready to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands.

I also store up knowledge. Though I may not actively use all of it, I try to learn and know how to access information, about things I may need to know in an emergency— basic first aid, basic herbal concepts, basic water purification, basic survival. Because of my profession as a nurse, I also store basic supplies that would help me meet a more serious need. I keep an extra box of gloves, bandages, topical antibiotics, and various other implements tucked in with my extra stethoscope, blood pressure cuff and other implements. Are there aspects of what you know that would be helpful to another in an emergency? Include these things in your stores.

The final area we can all help in is money. Donating goods and money as often as possible opens a great deal of doors for organizations that specialize in relief and support efforts. Budgeting for this every day and month rather than just when the need is immediate allows service organizations to move in faster and better equipped than if they have to wait for additional funding or supplies. Many years ago when I was in nursing school, we had a guest speaker from the Red Cross come in to talk to us about what they do. While I’m not saying that the Red Cross is the best or only means of participation in relief efforts, I think her message applies across the board. I still remember the thing she stressed as most important— money. In her own words: additional helping hands are nice, but too many causes more problems than too few, and goods are great but money is better.

She told of working one disaster area and having a semi-truck full of feminine products brought to their site. They were donated very generously by the product manufacturer but not exactly appropriate at the time. Suddenly, the Red Cross had to use valuable resources and manpower finding ways to dispense these goods which, yes, may have been needed but not in that quantity. Giving money ensures that they can get and provide exactly what is most needed at any given stage of a disaster. You’d be amazed at what the best organizations can do with only a few dollars. No matter how small your own donation may seem, know that it is doing more good than you could ever imagine.

For me, I prefer to donate my time, money and goods, to the LDS church humanitarian aid division. Why? Because they are very careful with what I give them. All money they receive goes directly into supporting those in need. The church covers all its own overhead expenses. Plus, they are very careful about the type of aid they provide. Help from them comes in two forms— immediate and long-term. Not only do they help with urgent needs, they are constantly on the watch for ways they can help people improve their way of life in the long-term often years after the rest of the world has moved on.

When I think of their pain and suffering, my small gestures of contribution still don’t seem like much but I continue to give because the Savior did and I trust in Him to take my meager offering and magnifying for those I’m sending my heart out to. Please, if nothing else remember to pray, and remember to give.

It never makes sense. Why would someone with no apparent motive decide to randomly murder numerous people before taking their own life? This past week in Omaha, Nebraska was the most recent, horrible massacre. Every thought in relation to these types of occurrences is filled with sorrow, anger, and frustration as to why these things seem to be happening at an all too frequent rate in our society. What is also disturbing is that it seems to be a trend coming from younger people.

The first question then, should be, what is happening to our young people? What is lacking so badly in their lives that causes them so much despair, which so often turns to the emotion of desperation. These massacres are coming from a group of people who live with such an emptiness in their souls that the only way out that is rationalized by their negatively infiltrated minds is through absolute and drastic measures. They have a lack of respect for the value of life.

In my humble opinion, it almost feels like there is an up and coming generation gap somewhere along the way that we all just failed to recognize was even there. It seems like we have failed to prioritize teaching the value of life to everyone. In our minds, we say, "Oh, that's their parents' job," or "They should learn that at church," or, "Kids don't really care about that," or, "The school is no place for that kind of instruction. We don't want to offend anyone," or, "They should know that by now, its common sense!" If any of those statements are true, we ALL are just passing the buck. We all are not taking accountability for the fact that this is happening in towns near and far, small and wide. How can stressing the importance of the value of life to anyone ever be considered offensive? How can it be offensive to tell those that are in need to hear, "I care about your life, so should you." What I feel is missing in the lives of these people is a lack of lasting love in their lives. That kind of love can be provided if they, one, participate and experience for themselves in helping and caring for other individuals, and two, learn about the principles of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

During His short ministry here on Earth, Jesus provided great examples of how to live to have our lives enriched, not by the physical rewards of mortality (money, fame, etc), but through knowing that we can actively participate in achieving our eternal rewards during our lives (acts of kindness, etc). To everyone He came across, no matter the state that He found them in, He always reminded them that they were children of our Heavenly Father and that each of them had a purpose, to learn and to live righteously in order to return to Him in the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus always shared His love for each of them, as He knew and remembered who they were in the pre-mortal realm. He judged them not, and He did not walk in fear at the thought of those who would mock and persecute Him.

So what else can we do to help?

First, realize that just one person can truly make a difference. The size of the difference is irrelevant. Cause and effect is a law of the universe. Then, start with taking a look inward. Review and reflect upon all of the times in our lives where we've felt the most despair. How did we feel? Who helped us out? What did they do? How did it impact us? Take those answers and refine them to reflect the people we are at this very moment. What would we change knowing what we know now and why? After that is said and done, accept that it all happened the way that it did, and if necessary, forgive anything that was lacking. Acceptance and forgiveness of these things will provide us with the deliverance necessary from those things so that we can get over being self absorbed and become more truly aware of the needs of others.

Secondly, once you are ready, turn outward into the world and visualize realistic areas that you could make the most difference, and would have the most effect. But limit any expectations. Start with something small, like your own family, and network out from there. Surely, someone is familiar with someone else who seems down, or may need help. Charging into an unknown situation would probably be unwise, so it is best to follow the wisdom of getting into the water one toe at a time. Test the waters, and diagnose what is needed. Remember that subtlety seems to be the least intrusive way to show someone you care. Simply providing even a reassurance that you will always be a word of encouragement and a hand of assistance can help inspire even the most down-trodden. There may be those who are in need of much more hands-on help, but if you are not skilled in that arena, find someone who is.

When tragedies like this happen, of course, we tend to ask, "Why?" But, if no sufficient explanation can be discovered and it doesn't make any sense, the next statement should be, "Let's do all we can to prevent this from happening again." Turning to the example of the Savior and His service to others helps us to share the hope and feeling that all is not lost, to those who have directly been impacted by the massacre at Omaha, and other recent locations, and those others who want to know what they can do to help.

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. (Mosiah 2:17)