Overcoming Adversity

Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.

The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. (President James E. Faust)

Adversity is a given in life. We will all experience it. It is for this very reason that we are here in this mortal journey - to prove ourselves through our trials and tribulations. During times of adversity, some choose to abandon faith in the Lord. Others choose to remain steadfast and true. They choose to hold fast to their faith and continue to serve the Lord and their fellowmen.

Service is a big part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We may be asked to teach Sunday school, conduct music, teach small children, lead the congregation, teach early morning Seminary, help with the Sunday bulletin, or be a visiting teacher. It really doesn't matter where in the Church we're asked to serve. What matters is that we serve to the best of our abilities. What matters is that we use the talents the Lord has blessed us with to serve Him and our fellowmen in whatever capacity we're asked to serve.

I've seen and felt the hand of adversity this year. I've also witnessed an outpouring of blessings through the selfless service of others.

Yesterday, I was released as the Relief Society (women's organization of the Church) president in our ward (local Church unit). This basically means that as of yesterday, I'm no longer the Relief Society president for our ward. A release from a calling in the Church usually comes about when one is being called to serve somewhere else, is moving out of the ward, when personal or family circumstances change, or it might simply be time to give someone else an opportunity to serve in that position. We're moving back to the West Coast in a week!

As the Relief Society president, I came to love each of the women in the ward. However, there is a special place in my heart for those sisters who experienced great adversity over the past year. Some sisters have serious health related challenges. Others are struggling financially. There are problems in marriages and other family relationships. The list goes on. Each is dealing with trials and adversity in her own way. With faith in the Lord and with help from her sisters in the Relief Society, each sister continues to move forward, one step at a time.

Sometimes, serving and helping someone else does require a lot from us, but I've found that these times are very rare. Most times, it's the small and sincere acts of love that go a long way in easing someone else's load. Often times, it doesn't cost us anything except an hour or two of our time. At times, a smile, a kind word, a true friend, is all that is needed. Someone who will listen and not judge. Someone who understands, who cares, who looks past the shortcomings to the person inside. Someone who is willing to share another's burden, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Alma, a prophet of the Book of Mormon taught us that to become true disciples of Jesus Christ, we must be willing to bear one another's burden.

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life. (Mosiah 18:8-9)

A wonderful thing happens when we strive to serve and help others during their trials - we forget to dwell on our challenges. Our problems may not disappear completely but somehow our perspective changes. What once seemed insurmountable is not quite so overwhelming. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

I'm filled with gratitude for the examples of these sisters. Despite personal trials, these sisters chose to serve and help someone else. They remind me on a constant basis that each of us is our sister's keeper. We are indeed our brothers' keepers!

Selfless service is a wonderful antidote to the ills that flow from the worldwide epidemic of self-indulgence. Some grow bitter or anxious when it seems that not enough attention is being paid to them, when their lives would be so enriched if only they paid more attention to the needs of others.

The answer lies in helping to solve the problems of those around us rather than worrying about our own, living to lift burdens even when we ourselves feel weighed down, putting our shoulder to the wheel instead of complaining that the wagons of life seem to be passing us by.

Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.
(Elder David S. Baxter of the Seventy).

The world has been overflowing with grief in the past few weeks. It’s made me stop and think about my part in all of this. I don’t live near any of the recent disasters, either inside or outside of the United States, but still my heart weeps right along with these people. I’m so far away and I have no idea what I could possibly do to help ease their tremendous suffering. I’m just one person, one person who can not transport herself there to wipe a tear or help with the physical labor or relief efforts. I went looking for answers in the one place I trust the most: my faith and my religion.

Though it still doesn’t feel like enough— I doubt anything any of us could do, would ever be enough. Still, I did find a few things. I found the following articles most helpful.

“The Latter-day Saint Humanitarian Center,” Ensign, Mar 2001, 60.

Neil K. Newell, “‘Anxious to Bless the Whole Human Race’,” Ensign, Apr 1999, 24–31.

Neil K. Newell and Lloyd D. Newell, “The Power of Compassion,” Ensign, Dec 2002, 21.

For me, I think the most important things I can do are: never lose my empathy, pray and prepare.

As bad as things may get, I should never find myself shrugging off the latest news of a hurting world. Yes, it’s discouraging and depressing so I don’t read or listen to very much, but I try to watch the main headlines so I can be aware of my fellowman. I hope there never comes a day when I’ve seen so much grief that I forget to notice that these are real people with real suffering. I hope I never get to a point where I can shrug it all off because it doesn’t directly effect me.

No matter what is happening, the best place I can turn to be of help is to my faith. Just as I turned to it for answers about how to help, if I keep turning to it the paths I can best follow with be shown to me. If nothing else I can exercise my faith in the atonement on other people’s behalf, pleading for its effects to reach a place where it can plant the seeds of peace in their wounded hearts. I pray for those that suffer and those left behind that the despair will not become more than they can bear.

I pray for those who are able to help from a closer proximity that they might be sped on their way and find those in most need. I pray that they will be safe as they move forward to help. I pray that the supplies they bare will be sustained in the manner of the loaves and fishes. I pray that their strength will endure beyond their normal capabilities. I try to send a portion of myself in support and offer a plea for the best gift of all, the Savior’s help. He is there. We have to know that. In the midst of all this, He has not abandoned us, or them, and left us to ourselves. He continues to do all He can, though some may say He’s not there at all, to comfort and guide and record the pain and suffering around Him. He pays the price for all of that. He cries with us. He places His yoke firmly around those who work and bare these tremendous trials. He carries them home when their lives can not be spared. I add my faith to His efforts and know that He can do more than any man or organization if they were left to themselves.

Lastly, I try to prepare: both in my own family and for organizations I believe in who reach out in these times of need. I remember the Lord’s counsel to put away stores for future need: food, money and anything else that might be needed to sustain the life of my family. I try to remember that I’m storing not only for my own needs but to be able to reach out to another’s needs. When I’m storing appropriately, there is always an extra dish in the freezer or an extra $5 for the relief funds. When I’m not, I feel the weight of what might have been if I had been ready to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands.

I also store up knowledge. Though I may not actively use all of it, I try to learn and know how to access information, about things I may need to know in an emergency— basic first aid, basic herbal concepts, basic water purification, basic survival. Because of my profession as a nurse, I also store basic supplies that would help me meet a more serious need. I keep an extra box of gloves, bandages, topical antibiotics, and various other implements tucked in with my extra stethoscope, blood pressure cuff and other implements. Are there aspects of what you know that would be helpful to another in an emergency? Include these things in your stores.

The final area we can all help in is money. Donating goods and money as often as possible opens a great deal of doors for organizations that specialize in relief and support efforts. Budgeting for this every day and month rather than just when the need is immediate allows service organizations to move in faster and better equipped than if they have to wait for additional funding or supplies. Many years ago when I was in nursing school, we had a guest speaker from the Red Cross come in to talk to us about what they do. While I’m not saying that the Red Cross is the best or only means of participation in relief efforts, I think her message applies across the board. I still remember the thing she stressed as most important— money. In her own words: additional helping hands are nice, but too many causes more problems than too few, and goods are great but money is better.

She told of working one disaster area and having a semi-truck full of feminine products brought to their site. They were donated very generously by the product manufacturer but not exactly appropriate at the time. Suddenly, the Red Cross had to use valuable resources and manpower finding ways to dispense these goods which, yes, may have been needed but not in that quantity. Giving money ensures that they can get and provide exactly what is most needed at any given stage of a disaster. You’d be amazed at what the best organizations can do with only a few dollars. No matter how small your own donation may seem, know that it is doing more good than you could ever imagine.

For me, I prefer to donate my time, money and goods, to the LDS church humanitarian aid division. Why? Because they are very careful with what I give them. All money they receive goes directly into supporting those in need. The church covers all its own overhead expenses. Plus, they are very careful about the type of aid they provide. Help from them comes in two forms— immediate and long-term. Not only do they help with urgent needs, they are constantly on the watch for ways they can help people improve their way of life in the long-term often years after the rest of the world has moved on.

When I think of their pain and suffering, my small gestures of contribution still don’t seem like much but I continue to give because the Savior did and I trust in Him to take my meager offering and magnifying for those I’m sending my heart out to. Please, if nothing else remember to pray, and remember to give.